One of my cousins has always been a bit of an odd duck.
We all care about him and want the best for him, but there’s no doubt that he is a difficult and unusual human being. For many years, we have been encouraging him to go to a professional barber so that they could help him with a particular issue he has… Dandruff. We’ve tried to be kind and considerate about the medical condition that plagues his scalp, but he really doesn’t seem to bother the human dust that he leaves everywhere. Well, that’s a selfish view to take because not everybody wants to live in the presence of your dead skin particles. We never realized exactly how bad the problem was until the other day when our central heating and cooling system needed an emergency repair service. For months we have been noticing that the energy bills were climbing higher and higher and our indoor air temperature seemed to fluctuate on a regular basis. The day that our AC system stopped pumping any cool air through the vents was the day that I finally gave up and called a local repair shop for professional assistance. When the heating and cooling technician arrived at our house, we showed him to the large cooling system out back and gave him free reign to inspect the duct work at the same time. It wasn’t long before the air quality control specialist came inside and told us that he had found a serious problem. Our air filters were completely jammed with a mysterious white substance. The air conditioning system has been struggling to force any high-quality indoor air through the plugged up air filters. When he showed us the nasty, used air filters we immediately knew what the problem was… My cousin’s dandruff. At that point, it wasn’t such a sensitive issue that we joked about. We pushed him out the door and told him to go get a goddamn dandruff shampoo.